Charlie

Charlie Dog

This is about our dog Charlie. For a long time, I kept saying I was going to write a country song with the line "my dog's best friend is a dead armadillo." We have a lot of armadillos passing through and not all of them survive. Charlie has been known to let them ripen and leatherize in the sun, and although he is a killer, he handles these armadillo treats with seeming affection. 

For a long time I was stuck on that one line. Thanks to Cecily for some of the rhymes in the first stanza that cracked this song open.


My dog’s best friend is a dead armadillo
Sleeps with him by the old weeping willow
Uses him as a beef jerky pillow
Charlie’s real friendly

Charlie’s girl, well she’s called Girlie
She scares real easy, so don’t get surly
Go real easy and go to bed early
Charlie loves Girlie

Chorus:
Oh Charlie, Oh Charlie, Oh Charlie, Oh Charlie dog

Charlie kills bunnies, cats, and racoons
Girlie sniffs them out and he brings them right to you
Leaves them lying in the yard like a reproof
Charlie’s a killer

Charlie likes to sing and I ain’t foolin
Play him the fiddle and he’ll sing you a tune
Howls at the moon and he’ll howl at you too
Charlie’s a singer

Chorus

Bet you wonder how Charlie got his name
There was a little boy of Youtube fame
Finger in his brother’s mouth and guess his name
That baby brother was named Charlie

What happened next took the boy by surprise
Brother Charlie bit down - youtube these guys
The boy looked at his finger with big eyes
Said Charlie bit my finger

Chorus

Well our Charlie’s bad, but not like that
Little kids can climb on him, he keeps sleeping like a cat
Pull his long floppy ears and he does not react
But that’s why he’s named Charlie.

I love Charlie, and Charlie loves me
We’ve all said it and we’re happy as can be
Charlie and Girlie and one more would make three
Oh, hell no

Chorus